Analysis of the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse Infomercial (2004)

Stephen Barrett, M.D.
March 3, 2008

NARRATOR: The Health Man in many circles is considered to be one of the healthiest people on the planet. He is going to share with you the secrets of how you, too, can heal yourself of just about any health problem, and how you, too, can build a pain-free body. He is a man who was diagnosed with breast cancer and skin cancer. He is a man who was diagnosed with breast cancer and skin cancer twelve years ago. Not only did he heal himself within four months, but something amazing occurred in the process: He became perfectly healthy. Now, here is the founder of the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse . . . the Health Man. [His identity is not revealed during the program, but earlier versions of the company’s site identify him as Paris A. DeAguero, who founded and is president of the company.]

HEALTH MAN: Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? Are you one of millions who suffer from the common ailments such as constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, fatigue, Alzheimer’s, and other diseases? Have you been struggling year in and year out with your health problems? Have you been struggling year in and year out with your health problems? Then why should you suffer any more? I have the solution for you! Imagine being in control of your health. You can look and feel 10 to 20 years younger than your age, have perfect cholesterol, perfect body weight, and consistent bowel eliminations…a body immune to all sickness. [I don’t believe there is any scientific evidence or logical reason to believe that the 7-Day Miracle Health Cleanse will achieve these things. The claim that it can produce immunity to “all sickness” should be enough to make listeners realize that “the Health Man” is not trustworthy.] These are the characteristics of perfect health. In the next half hour, I guarantee each and every one of you that you will be amazed as I show you the most innovative health rejuvenation system in the world, which has never been available to the public until now! [ indicates that the product has been available on the company’s Web site since 1998.]

Thank you for joining me today from beautiful Hawaii. I’m the Health Man. I must first say it is a pleasure to have this incredible opportunity to share this profound knowledge with each and every one of you. What I am about to tell you about your own personal health may be equally alarming and amazing. I would first like to address what I feel is the missing link in our society when it comes to our own health, as we are the unhealthiest nation in the world. It is a fact that you were born perfect, and somewhere along the way, you have become imperfect. [Not true. Lots of people have birth defects.] The right knowledge has not been available to you, the public, and we are not trained to create a perfectly healthy body, immune from disease. If this were not true, then why has the United States become the most diseased nation in the world? [I am not aware of any data showing that the United States is the most diseased nation in the world. In fact, I am not aware of any criteria that could be used to measure how “diseased” a country is.]

According to the respected publication, the Merck Manual, colon health has degenerated quickly. For example, the major colon disease, diverticulosis, increased from 10% of adults over the age of 45 in 1950 to 50% by 1987. The most recent edition declared that virtually every American adult will have diverticulosis in the large intestine at some point in their life. This can be prevented. [Diverticulosis is the condition of having diverticula, small outpouchings from the large intestine (colon). The Merck Manual doesn’t say that virtually every American will get diverticulosis. It says that most people who reach the age of 80 will do so. The incidence increases with age, because the colon walls weaken with age. By age 80, most people have diverticulosis, but most of them have few or no symptoms. A major factor in promoting the formation of diverticula is elevated pressure within the colon, which occurs when people are constipated and must strain to expel hard stool. Diverticula formation can be prevented or slowed by eating a diet that contains enough fiber to prevent constipation.]

I feel, and you probably do as well, that we have become so frightened and fearful when it comes to our own health. How many of you take prescription drugs or visit a doctor year in and year out?

WOMAN 1: My arthritis was quite painful, mainly every morning when I would get up and couldn’t hardly walk. But they wanted to operate on my knee and I did not want that. But I’ve known people, too, that had had the operation that . . . didn’t help them that much, either. They still had problems.

WOMAN 2: Yes, my doctor recommended an operation and chemotherapy for several weeks.

HEALTH MAN: Every time you have a symptom of illness, you run to the medicine cabinet or to the doctor’s office . . . don’t you? Understand that we have been conditioned to this for generations and simply do not even question it. But do you ever really find out the real causes of your health problems? Does your doctor ever really educate you on the simple and inexpensive healing modalities available to you? Of course not. It is not in their best interest or part of the medical practice to do so. In fact, the average medical doctor has only 2.5 hours nutritional training during their years in medical school. [The principles of nutrition are those of human biochemistry and physiology, courses required in every medical school. Some medical schools don’t teach a separate required course labeled “Nutrition” because the subject is included in other courses at the points where it is most relevant. For example, nutrition in growth and development is taught in pediatrics, nutrition in wound healing is taught in surgery, and nutrition in pregnancy is covered in obstetrics. In addition, many medical schools do offer separate instruction in nutrition. Of course, medical training, of course does not end on the day of graduation from medical school or completion of specialty training. The medical profession advocates lifelong education, and some states require it for license renewal. Physicians can further their knowledge of nutrition by reading medical journals and textbooks, discussing cases with colleagues, and attending continuing education courses. Most doctors know what nutrients can and cannot do and can tell the difference between a real nutritional discovery and a piece of quack nonsense. Those who are unable to answer questions about dietetics (meal planning) can refer patients to someone who can—usually a registered dietitian.]

I feel . . . doctors automatically prescribe pharmaceutical drugs and remove body parts that we need. When we buy a pill and buy peace with it, you get conditioned to cheap solutions instead of deep ones. In my opinion, the medical industry’s approach is unorthodox because it does not identify the original cause of sickness and disease but simply treats the symptoms of them, don’t they? [Medical research is constantly striving to deepen knowledge of disease causation; and much is known. The Health Man would like you to to believe that most disease has a simple “underlying” cause that his product can correct. That simply isn’t true.]

WOMAN 3: I am not into going, you know, to the medical doctors and having them cut your problem out. You know. “Let’s just do the incision and take out this organ because you’re having problems with it.” That doesn’t really hit on…where that problem came from. It’s just…it’s not really going to heal you. They’re just, you know, doing—that’s just the way Western medicine is. I believe it can help anybody. And, you know, obviously, it kills cancer. It helps arthritis. You know, you’re actually cleaning your body…so it can work again. [Medical treatment is not a simplistic process like the Health Man describes. Some ailments can be cured by treatment, others can not.]

HEALTH MAN: A cancerous tumor, which is a symptom, is routinely removed by surgery. [Not always. The treatment depends on the nature and extent of the tumor.] This is usually followed by painful radiation treatment and debilitating chemotherapy. [Radiation and chemotherapy can have serious side effects. But there are many cases where side effects are are not a problem.] But why doesn’t the treatment attack the cause? Interesting, isn’t it? No wonder cancer comes back with such a vengeance! Healing can only begin when we attack the cause of disease. [This is a quack concept. Cancer causation is multifactorial. By the time a cancer is apparent, the cause is not usually relevant to the treatment. Treatment is based on knowledge of what has been demonstrated to work.] This is a diagram of the human digestive tract. The colon is highlighted and it’s considered the sewer of the human body. [Only by quacks.] Now this should surprise many of you. Did you know that your digestive tract is responsible for about 90% of your overall health? [No. I don’t even know how to define or measure “percentage of responsibility for overall health.”] Yeah—90%! Did you know that your entire body is fed by your small and large intestines? [Yes.] First, the colon feeds your blood. Then the blood cells feed all of the cells in your body, including your brain cells. You’re probably asking yourself, “Why should this mean something to me?” Right? I say this because the National Health Federation has estimated that over 97% of the population is living in a state of constipation and has developed what is called “mucus plaque” in the small and large intestine. [The National Health Federation is a very disreputable organization that was formed by promoters of illegal health schemes who banded together to try to weaken federal regulation. I have read NHF’s publications for more than 30 years and never seen any mention of such a statistic.] Mucus plaque creates a daily, self-poisoning effect on your entire body called “toxemia.” This mucus plaque exists inside of almost every American and lines the internal wall of your colon. [Any physician who examines colons with an instrument or during surgery can tell you that this statement is not true.]

MAN: It gets very toxic. It backs up all the toxins into your lower intestines, causing everything from toxemia to cancer. [The theory that a sluggish colon is a “toxic waste dump” that causes people to get sick was abandoned by the medical profession at least 70 years ago.]

HEALTH MAN: The colon’s primary function is to extract nutrients from your bowel, in other words, from the foods you eat. [That’s not true. Nutrients are absorbed primarily from the small intestine. The main function of the colon is to extract water.] It is also been estimated that over 97% of the population absorbs less than 10% of the nutrients from the foods we eat. [I am not aware of any such data and don’t believe that the statement is true. If people absorbed only 10% of the nutrients they ate, they would rapidly lose weight and probably die within a few months.] Thus, it is no wonder that over 60% of the population is obese. [I don’t know of any way that decrease nutrient absorption would make people become fatter.] Even worse, 97% of us die prematurely from a diseased colon and malnutrition. [That statement is preposterous.] We have the ability to live twice as long as we are living today, but we need the knowledge on how to do this. [Doubling life expectancy would bring it to about 150 years. The highest age ever recorded is about 120 years.] The colon is one of the primary indicators as to how long we will live. Look, what I am offering is the opportunity to live a longer life without sickness or disease with an abundance of energy and vitality!

MAN: Listen, the energy that you get—you’re going to feel—you’re going to feel like Superman!

WOMAN 2: I started feeling better just within a couple days.

WOMAN 3: [laughs] My energy went through the roof. Just…just . . . I think three or four days I was into the program . . . and it just . . . whoo!

HEALTH MAN: How does your body develop this mucus plaque? It all begins at about the age of 6. Every time we eat foods not composed of fresh fruits and vegetables and their juices, raw nuts, or seeds, a microscopic residue lines the digestive tract. This is especially true when we consume pasteurized milk products, including milk, and starches such as bread, and sugar products, and alcohol, and soft drinks, and coffee, and the list goes on. [The idea that these foods leave behind a residue is preposterous.] These products are absolutely indigestible foods. [The claim that bread, milk, and sugar products are not digestible is absurd.] Over a period of ten, twenty, thirty years or more, these residues accumulate to develop mucus plaque a quarter inch to two inches thick around the entire circumference of the inner colon. Take a good look at the inside of this pipe. [Many doctors do this many times per day. No medical journal has ever reported seeing what the Health Man describes.]

See the residues that have developed on the inside of it? This pipe is nearly blocked, making it almost impossible for anything to pass through it. [If that were true, people would develop severe symptoms.] This is very similar to the average colon. We have taken it for granted that what we put into our mouth is going to come out of the other end of our digestive tract. You know the part that nobody wants to talk about—your rectum? I find that most people don’t like to talk about this part of the body because most feel embarrassed, as most are either living in a state of perpetual constipation or have other bowel dysfunction. Are you one of millions who take laxatives? I was one of those people once. We have just not been taught how to cleanse or how to maintain cleanliness, especially in our colon, which is connected to our rectum. Why is it that we clean every other orifice except the filthiest? The colon is analogous to a sewer in your body and needs to be maintained just like every other orifice in your body. Take a moment to think about this. What if you neglected any of your other body openings? For example, imagine not brushing your teeth or cleaning your ears for ten years or more. It would be foul, to say the least, right? Now imagine the condition of your colon. It is time that everyone gain awareness of the overlooked colon and the necessity of having a clean colon because your health depends on it.

This is how a perfect colon should look. Contrast this with how the average American colon looks. See how distorted the appearance of the neglected colon is? Every American has colon disease or colon degeneration. [A preposterous statement.] Statistics show that colon cancer kills 400% more people than AIDS, even more than breast cancer and prostate cancer. [Government statistics indicate that in 1998, colorectal cancer killed about 28,023 men and 28,950 women; breast cancer killed 41,736 women; and prostate cancer killed 32,203 men. (Recent trends in cancer mortality rates for four major cancers, by sex and race/ethnicity—United States, 1990-1998. MMWR 51;49-53, 2002 The good news is you don’t have to live embarrassed anymore. The 7-Day Miracle Cleanse program is a professional, internal cleansing system, and has eliminated all types of constipation, as well as other bowel dysfunction such as Irritable Bowel Syndrome. [There’s no logical reason to believe the program can do this. I wonder what basis the Health Man has for this claim.] It is the best cleansing system available and cannot be found in any store. Another danger of mucus plaque is that it houses toxins such as heavy metals, which are major contributors to Alzheimer’s Disease. It also houses parasites, fungi, worms, and harmful bacteria, each of which can weaken your immune system. The elimination of this filth is one of the key components in achieving perfect health and in building a pain-free body for both young and old. I challenge any person, any organization to prove me wrong. [The burden of proof is on the person who makes the claims. Doctors who examin colons every day do not find “mucus plaque.”]

What I am talking about is real. It is never too late to benefit from the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse program, a rejuvenation system. In fact, the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse can extend your life ten, twenty, thirty years or more. Nobel Prize winner Alex Carrel stated that if the cell is cleansed and nourished properly, it could live indefinitely. [Alexis Carrel (1873-1944), who won the Nobel Prize in Medicine in 1912, was interested in transplantation of tissues. I don’t know what the Health Man is quoting from, but I doubt if Carell was referring to cells living a long time in the human body. Tissues may live a long time, but cells die and are replaced fairly often.] Just think of the possibilities! It is now time for us to realize our potential in this life and stop taking it for granted! When are you going to get passionate about your health? You now have the opportunity to really do something about it. I would like to take a moment to pay tribute to one of the greatest pioneers of nutrition and internal cleansing, Dr. Norman Walker, a man who lived to a healthy 118 years. [The Social Security Death Index has no listing for a Norman Walter who lived 118 years and died in 1984. Curiously, the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse Web site said for several years that Walker lived to 130.] This was a man who began his crusade at the age of 40. At the age of 100, he has stated many times he had felt stronger and had more vitality than when he was 30! Can you imagine the possibilities? He had constantly talked about the need to maintain a clean colon and to drink plenty of fresh vegetable juices. He was living proof of the potential of each and every one of us in this lifetime. How easy is it to eliminate constipation? I know that if you complete just one 7-Day Miracle Cleanse program, you will have regular, healthy bowel elimination, just as you did when you were a child. Fecal waste products should stay in your system no longer than 24 hours, although 6 to 8 hours is ideal. The average time is 72 to 96 hours, which gives fecal matter enough time to putrefy and build up toxins that can affect every part of your body, especially the immune system. [The notion that colon stagnation leads to “autointoxication” was disproven and abandoned by scientific medicine more than 75 years ago.] Can you imagine eliminating constipation in just seven days of your life? How long have you been suffering? Isn’t it time for you to do something about it? Now I would like to take a moment here to ask you a few obvious but important questions about your health.

NARRATOR: Are you tired of feeling tired every day? Are you part of the 97% of the population that is living with some type of constipation that can be eliminated in seven days? [The statement that 97% of Americans suffer from constipation is preposterous.] Wouldn’t you prefer to be in control of your own health and well being? Wouldn’t it be great to have vitality and mobility as a senior and be able to live a full life? Do you think the solution is complicated?

HEALTH MAN: If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, then stay with me a little longer.

ANNOUNCER: To order your 7-Day Miracle Cleanse, dial 1-800-395-3001. That’s 1-800-395-3001 or send check or money order to the address on your screen. If you are not amazed with your results, we’ll give you your money back. Take your health back today!

HEALTH MAN: I feel the medical industry has done a superior job of making us feel inferior about taking care of our own health. Also, they have intentionally made us believe that our own health is too complicated to figure out for ourselves and that we need to depend upon them to do our thinking for us. Visiting a doctor is nothing more than experiencing intellectual degradation. Just like mindless robots, we go to a doctor every time we get sick, looking for sympathy or for a quick fix in the form of an unnecessary drug. We have blindly bought into credentials rather than using our own faith and God-given common sense. As Voltaire stated, a physician is one who pours drugs, of which he knows little, into a body, of which he knows less. [Voltaire lives from 1694 to 1778, before medical science was developed. That statement may have been close to the truth 250 years ago, but it is certainly not true today.] It is a fact that over 160,000 people die each year after taking prescription medical drugs. [This widely quoted statistic is meaningless because it doesn’t compare death rates to benefits.]

WOMAN 3: This is such a better alternative than going and being medicated, you know, with medicine that has side effects, and you know, the TV commercials, my kids laugh at them. They’re, “Oh, yeah, Mom, right.” You know. “Liver damage, kidney damage, heart attacks—show me when it,” you know, “who’d want to take that?” And that’s true! People—anybody—if my kids noticed it, everybody’s going to know. Why would I take that medication? You know? There’s got to be a better way. Let’s get back to nature.

HEALTH MAN: Are you intelligent people? Of course you are. I’m here to tell you that the only person that can heal you is you. You create your health problems; you can uncreate them. So what’s missing? All you need is the right knowledge on how to eliminate the filth, this mucus plaque, this blockage from your colon, and more importantly, to maintain a clean environment for the prevention of sickness and disease in your body. Is changing your diet the solution? The best diet isn’t any better than the worst if you don’t remove the old mucus plaque first. Remember what I said earlier? Consumers in America absorb less than 10% of the nutrients from the foods they eat. If you are serious about improving your well being, then the elimination of mucus plaque is the key to success. Eleven years ago, I was diagnosed with skin cancer and breast cancer, although I was in perfect physical health. I had been living with open sores on my body that would never scab or heal. Then a lump developed in the right pectoral area of my chest. It grew to the size of a golf ball. Within nine months, the pain grew to be so unbearable that it consumed my every thought and I could not take the pain anymore. [If this description is accurate, I would wonder why the Health Man took so long to get medical treatment.] I was in serious denial to think that anything could be wrong with me. After all, I was in perfect physical shape. So I went to a doctor, and after many, many tests, it was not only determined that I had breast cancer, but I had skin cancer as well. [I wonder whether this is accurate. Dagnosing a cancer on the outside of the body is very simple. All that is required is one test—a biopsy.] I will never forget how I was gripped with fear at that moment. I was dripping with sweat. My heart was pounding so hard, I thought it was going to burst through my chest! I felt like the walls were closing in on me. And then the doctor said that he wanted to schedule me for surgery, chemotherapy, and radiation! There was no way I was going to have any of this done to me because I watched my grandmother die within three weeks after the same treatment. I knew that I was going to have a different faith, so I rushed out of the doctor’s office. My faith was extremely strong, but I knew that I didn’t have much time and that I needed to find a healing solution fast. I was smart enough to know that surgery would only remove the symptom of my illness but not the cause. I was only interested in the cause of my disease. I remarkably found a simple and easy bowel-cleansing program within one day. Faith really works when you are connected to the source of God. I didn’t know anything about this program, so I was very skeptical. But I was told that many people had healed themselves of just about every health affliction conceivable. I started my first seven-day detoxification program, and I will never forget what happened on the fourth day. The pain in my tumor had vanished. I was also experiencing an overwhelming feeling of peace and tranquility. I knew that I had tapped into the source of healing.

Within seven days on my first program, the improbable happened: My skin cancer sores had scabbed over. Within 14 days, they had healed completely. I repeated this program every three weeks until my tumor had completely disintegrated, and this process took only four months. I had also realized through the visual experience of examining the mucus plaque that poured out of my body during the cleansing process that this material is very, very toxic and poisonous. In my opinion, it is the true source of sickness and disease. This lifetime of residues, this mucus plaque, was poisoning my blood stream, my cells, my entire body, every day until my tolerance was so depleted that it left my body vulnerable to disease. This is typical of every American, and this means you! After healing myself, I had decided that I was going to dedicate my life to sharing this knowledge with everyone. A few years after extensive research of nutritional supplements, bowel cleansing, disease, juice therapy, herbs, and other associated products, I had developed the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse. It was my goal to mainstream this wholesome truth of healing and wellness so everyone could have the same opportunity to create a perfectly healthy body. Since then, my program has helped thousands of people overcome just about every health problem feared today, including AIDS, all types of cancer, high blood pressure, diabetes, migraine headaches, PMS, fibroid tumors, and all types of bowel dysfunction. [I don’t believe this claim. It would be interesting to know how he compiled his statistics. My guess is that he doesn’t have any and that his claim is a complete fabrication.]

MAN 2: My results were amazing. It should be the first step in any health-related goal.

WOMAN 4: During the plans and after, I noticed a remarkable change in my hair, skin, and body.

WOMAN 2: I was doing things that I hadn’t done for two years . . . and I still feel good.

MAN 1: If you ever see like little babies running around when they’re two and three years old and they have all this energy, that’s how you’re going to feel because it’s actually revitalizing your body, you know, getting it back to the way that you were when you were completely healthy. Once you know it and do it, you’re going to tell all your friends because . . . WOW!

WOMAN 3: Everyone’s into going to the vitamin stores now and, you know, they’re poaching drinks and they’re juicing. It’s not really going to work for them unless they’re cleaning their colon so that all the nutrients can get into the body where it belongs and that makes perfect sense to me, so I thought, “I have to do this.”

HEALTH MAN: Now I’m ready to help millions! Not only did these people heal themselves, but they raised their health and lives to a level that they did not previously experience. Look, it’s not our fault that we have a very unhealthy society. We were just not taught the basic secret to create a perfect, healthy body. Now you have no more excuses because the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse offers you a complete comprehensive detoxification system and all the necessary products to create a new you, to give you a new lease on life that starts by cleaning out the years of filth, of toxic mucus, in your colon. I can’t imagine any one of you waiting another moment to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity to create a new you, a new body. It’s only a phone call away. Just call the toll-free number and tell the operator you want the one-week starter kit and get started now!

ANNOUNCER: To order your 7-Day Miracle Cleanse, dial 1-800-395-3001. That’s 1-800-395-3001 or send check or money order to the address on your screen. If you are not amazed with your results, we’ll give you your money back. Take your health back today!

HEALTH MAN: How much do you value your health? How much would it be worth to prevent degenerative health problems so you don’t find yourself on the surgeon’s table, under the knife? Would you pay a million dollars? Hundred thousand dollars? Ten thousand dollars? At this moment, I offer you the opportunity to take charge of your health. Celebrities pay as much as $5,000 for this identical program. But your cost is less than one visit to a doctor, at only $89.00 plus shipping, and it comes with a money-back guarantee. [As he talks, the products are showed on the screen.]:

  • First, you will get the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse handbook, which describes the easy, step-by-step instructions to prepare you for the cleansing experience and to guide you through it. There are three different programs from which to choose…a program made for everyone.
  • You will receive a roll of pH papers for testing your body’s pH level using your saliva. This is necessary before starting any program. [Saliva pH testing has value for evaluating general health. Quacks recommend the test for determining the “pH of the body,” which saliva testing doesn’t do.]
  • You will also get my parasite and worm eliminator, Parasine 2. This product is taken before the seven-day program. It is clinically proven to eliminate parasites and worms. [I wonder how his alleged “proof” was documented.] The average person harbors millions of harmful parasites, especially throughout the digestive tract. [That statement is preposterous. Moreover, it violates federal law to market a dietary supplement as a parasite cure.] It’s a fact that over 50 million children die each year from parasites. [Few, if any, die in developed countries.] This is a serious health issue, and anybody who desires to achieve perfect health needs to eliminate these parasites. Many people who have taken this product have stated that they have expelled one- to twenty-foot tapeworms that they did not know they had. Parasine 2 is the most effective of its kind.
  • The Detox Tea: Formulated from an ancient, 5,000-year-old digestive recipe, composed of the finest organic herbs. This tea is taken during the actual cleansing program and can be enhanced with fresh lemon.
  • This is my Herbal Mucus Eliminator, the catalyst in preparing and eliminating the mucus plaque from the inner walls of the small and large intestines. I had tested all of the similar products available to find that the HME is superior, and it is composed of the finest herbs available.
  • This product is my awesome Super Boost Greens, proven to be a powerful antioxidant, as well as an alkalizer, to balance the pH level in your blood. [Blood pH is kept within a narrow range by various chemical reactions within the body. I doubt that Super Boost Greens has any effect on blood pH.] Everyone should be taking greens like this one every day. As you consume acidy-forming foods, your blood’s pH level is adversely affected. Your blood will automatically leach minerals from your bones and muscles. This is why our bones become brittle and shrink and our muscles lose their tone as we get older. The Super Boost Greens can prevent this, for it contains the necessary minerals to alkalize the blood. [The product is said to contain Hawaiian spirulina, alfalfa, gotu-kola, sea kelp, wheat grass, orange peel powder, and spinach leaf, none of which contain minerals that can “alkalinize the blood.”]
  • This is a one-month supply and it is recommended for daily use. Greens are essential in the cleansing process because it supplies your body with vegetable protein, chlorophyll, and trace minerals, necessary for rejuvenating the human cell. [Chlorophyl has no nutritional or health value for humans.] All of this is included in your one-week starter kit with our special promotion, that normally retails for $125. If you act now, it can be yours for only $89.00. You won’t find a better investment for transforming your body’s health than the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse, so order yours now.

This is one of my favorite subjects, and especially you women will be astonished with what I’m about to tell you. How many of you have this? [The video shows a woman with a protruding abdomen.] Have you tried thousands of sit-ups and still can’t get rid of this? Remember what I told you earlier? The average person carries around 10 to 25 pounds of mucus plaque. [This statement is preposterous.] This is your colon impacted with years of mucus plaque creating this bulge, adding constipation on top of it. I have worked with many women, and I know how sensitive you are about this. In fact, I believe it is the area of your body with which you are the most unhappy, right? So now the good news—that you can eliminate this puff in just seven days, and I guarantee it! The 7-Day Miracle Cleanse really works! There is no need to wait for a flat stomach any longer! I would like you to think about this: If you looked at yourself in the mirror right now, do you realize that this is the youngest that you will look ever again? But now you can defy the aging process and become younger if you take action and complete my program. Most people report looking 10 to 20 years younger after completing the 7-Day Miracle plan.

WOMAN 3: When you hit 40 and it seems like things start to fall apart, and it really energizes you. It makes you feel like you’re 25 again.

HEALTH MAN: How many of you women suffer every month with bloating, cramps, and other symptoms of PMS? Women who have completed just one seven-day program and add fresh vegetable juices to their diet state that PMS is a thing of the past. Isn’t this something that you could really get excited about? Or do you like feeling terrible every month? Look, I can’t do it for you. But at this moment, I am giving you the opportunity to do it for yourself. Anybody can complete this program. All you have to do is order the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse program right now and get started. I promise you that all of your friends and family will be telling you how wonderful you look after completing the program. The key to losing weight is in balancing the thyroid gland in your body because it controls the production of fat cells. [That statement is nonsense. Hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) can cause weight gain, but it is not a common cause of obesity.] Men and women spend billions of dollars each year for a hope or a diet that will cure all their problems in achieving their ideal body weight. It is easy to lose weight when you have the right knowledge. There is no better system than the 7-Day Miracle Cleanse for losing weight faster, healthier, and more naturally without harmful chemicals or side effects. [I don’t know of any ingredient in the product that has been demoonstrated to produce weight loss.] The average person will lose 10 to 25 or more in just seven days! [Even starvation is unlikely to produce that amount of weight loss. It is certainly impossible to lose that much weight safely.]

WOMAN 2: I lost about 19 pounds.

BOY: I lost 10 pounds.

WOMAN 2: I was right around 200 pounds. I weigh 132 pounds now.

MAN 1: I lost 13 pounds of ugly, fat weight.

HEALTH MAN: Most symptoms are connected to our colon, and your body has an amazing healing ability once you remove the toxic mucus plaques from it. You can achieve a level of superior health in a very short period of time by giving your body this opportunity. The human body is a simple organism, and the only thing that makes it complicated are the devitalized foods you have eaten in your lifetime without eliminating their toxic residues. [“Devitalized” is a quack term. Eating food does not result in a “toxic buildup.”] The 7-Day Miracle Cleanse will undoubtedly get you on the road to taking back your health. No one has ever made the cleansing process available to the public until now. [Products of this type have been marketed for more than 40 years.] No wonder it is the best investment for your body’s health and wellness. Take back your health today. And remember, you are what you eat, but more importantly, what you do not eliminate. Thank you for joining me today on location in beautiful Hawaii. I’m the Health Man!

Announcer: To order your 7-Day Miracle Cleanse, dial 1-800-395-3001. That’s 1-800-395-3001 or send check or money order to the address on your screen. If you are not amazed with your results, we’ll give you your money back. Take your health back today!

This article was revised on March 3, 2008.